Videodrone The Return
It is that time of year for warm fuzzy feelings and third degree burns due to mulled wine accidents. So while you sit in A&E wearing a jolly Primark Christmas jumper nursing your sticky scorched genitals you can rejoice in the festive return of Videodrone.
Journalists all over the world are currently feverishly wanking into silk handkerchiefs as they write up their stunningly inane ‘Best Of’ lists – If ‘Black Honey’ don’t make it onto 90% of those I’m hiring a hit man – but I digress. Videos are a different matter entirely and so here I present the five clips that made me put down my mojito and stare unblinking at the screen.
White Miles ‘Fake Smile’
Austrian duo White Miles attracted our attention with their video for ‘Fake Smile’ in several ways. Leather clad the two are to be seen writhing around in & on cars or sofas, seemingly unable to sit still for even a split second.
Flashes of nudity are from the male drummer not the female guitarist and Lofi even gets to stare at and then kiss a mannequin’s arse, a deed that results in him getting a slap. We’re unsure as to whether his assailant is Medina but either way I’m looking forward to their next clip.
Bete Noir ‘D Level Dirt’
Priests and kinky sex go together like gin and tonic so it’s nice to see a dominatrix straddling a man of the cloth in this video.
We also get singer David looking like Poseidon asking us to go down on him as footage from a gay porn film flashes before us.
So that’s religious icons, bdsm and anal penetration all wrapped up in a music video, I’m not entirely sure how they can top that but I’m certain they’ll try.
September Girls ‘Veneer’
September Girls released their debut album in January this year so it’s a pleasant surprise to see them return with a new EP and a harder sound this month.
‘Veneer’ sees the 5 ladies dressed head to toe in black and throwing drinks against walls – I’ve got friends like that – they even find time to play their instruments and have a seance.
Who would have thought that milk could be so atheistically pleasing when spilt over a goth dress.
Brody Dalle ‘Don’t Mess With Me’
After a substantial career fronting Distillers and Spinnerette Mrs Homme has gone solo, ‘Don’t Mess With Me’ features Brody playing her guitar in front of a huge target as she gets showered by various projectiles.
Pills, flowers, vodka bottles, blood and cake all strike her at some point.
At least she didn’t have Bete Noire directing her promo video, I dread to think what liquids they would cover Brody in.
Kim Deal ‘Biker Gone’
For the fifth in Kim Deal’s solo 7″ series we get a video set in a funeral parlour.
Kim, twin sister Kelley and Britt Walford appear playing instruments, (Kim and Kelley switching from bass to guitar in almost every shot as well as a unique use for a name badge) before serving up food to the mourning Bikers.
A huge procession ensues before they end up at a club and we get to see Kelley Deal throw a few funky dance moves before the film ends too briefly, I want to see an extended Directors Cut with them eating pizza in a taxi cue at 4am.